Having a relationship with people around is a very important aspect in any individuals life. Everyone needs someone whom they can approach when happy, sad or even when in need. Someone they can trust and someone who they believe understands them.
‘Understanding is the first step to Acceptance. Only with acceptance can you love and support the person’
Do you have a person? Maybe you have had someone like that but not anymore. I hope this post would help rekindle your relationship with the people you love.
Many times, we feel so attached to the person, that their activities could make us uncomfortable; even if we say to ourselves it’s their freedom to do what they want. For instance, if you’ll haven’t spoken for a while and you see them spend time with someone else, maybe an old friend, you start getting uncomfortable. Or if they do not start the conversation and you know they are online, how many times have you come up with a thought of them ignoring you and what not? Let me ask, why do you come up with such thoughts or jump into conclusions?
It is your mind that over-thinks the happening and causes issues between you two. Unnecessary ones. You’ll only ruin everything by over-thinking and creating unnecessary assumptions and thoughts.
You can also take the first step and start a conversation. Maybe you do it always but what is the harm in doing it once more?
What will you do if you find out and learn that, the person didn’t tell you something they said or did, maybe personal, but told it to someone else? Maybe you’ll can relate to this. Do you try to understand why the person would do that, or do you start an argument or fight because you were not told about it. Or do you think that person is hiding something from you? Or do you also do something without their knowledge with the thought that ‘if they can do what
they want without telling me, then so can I?’
Try to understand and respect the persons choice of speaking. Maybe it happened not just once, but twice or even more. Try to understand them not just once or twice but all the times they do so. Create an approachable and comfortable atmosphere between the two of you. Give them their time to come and talk to you. If they don’t, then understand that you don’t have to know whatever it maybe.
To the person who doesn’t say whatever it may be to the other, I respect your choice of saying what you want to who you want. But let me say, respect that person for staying by you always. You do not want to tell them something, don’t but do not take them for granted or see them as a toy.
Few things I believe in which helps build a good relationship.
The base of any relationship is Friendship. You’ll should be able to talk about anything, fun or serious talks, love and tease each other, have fights and arguments, and still be able to enjoy every moment spent with each other. Standing up for each other is also very important. Being by their side, supporting and respecting their needs and wishes. If you cannot do such things, then there is no strong bond holding you’ll together.
Nothing can stand strong without a strong foundation!
Give each other their freedom and space. In any relationship, every individual needs their freedom and space. Respect their freedom and feelings. Do not put restrictions on yours or theirs. That isn’t going to help the relationship grow but instead cause unnecessary rifts and arguments. Respect their decisions to come forward and speak when they feel comfortable. Do not be the first-to-know-it-all kind of person.
Even if you are supposed to be the first person to know it, accept the situation even if you are not, Positively.
No one likes such a person and don’t let that be a reason to lose someone who means something to you.
If you have a problem or do not like something they do, talk to them with an open mind. Speak what you feel and respect
and listen carefully to what they say.
If you know you have hurt someone, have you ever said sorry for that. Not just the mere-five-letter-word ‘sorry’ but meant the meaning and said? I believe accepting mistakes and being able to ask pardon for it with an open mind, is most important in maintaining good relationships with the people. But often, it is Ego stopping us from doing so. Believe you’re stronger Ego.
Not being able to ask pardon for what you have done, maybe in the past or even in the present, yet trying other ways to build a relationship is of no use. This is something I strongly believe in. But if you have asked pardon sincerely and still if the person cannot let go, do not worry about where your relationship is headed to. For one day, that person will realize their mistakes. Then they will have two choices, one, walk back to the junction where they changed their route and
hope for forgiveness or, two, live a life of regret. I’m sure no one wants to live a life of regret. Everyone wants to stay happy with the people around them. Then get ready to defeat Ego.
Do you talk more and listen less or Do you talk less and listen more? It is important to listen to the other more and talk less. You might already know what they are going to say, but it is important to listen and understand them with an open mind before you speak.
When something is being said, do not look and understand from only your perspective but also theirs. Many a time, looking at only your perspective, does not let you see a lot more that is present around you. So start listening more and talking
If someone tells you something, do you look at who that person is? Many times, people look at the person talking to them and decide if they should accept it or not. Listen to everyone, young or old. In everything being said, there is always something from which you can learn. Have a mind that listens openly and not with thoughts and dialogues that are ready to be used once the person finishes.
Do not let Ego, again, come your way and stop you from listening to people. Accept what people say with an open mind and also put forward your views and opinions, if any. Discuss openly and honestly.
Many problems that arises in relationships only need a small talk between the two to settle it.
But instead today, individuals go to a third person and talk. There is no need to go to anyone. You only need to take time, think straight and talk to the person you have a problem with. Do not over-think. You may not be doing it knowingly, but we are humans; it can happen unknowingly also.
Keep calm and believe! Have a good relationship with everyone and stay happy.